What's that, you say? A comic about fanfiction, and yet there isn't any!! What is this idiot thinking!? Well, worry not, my friends, for you see, I have indeed got fanfiction. Of a sort, anyway. Bear with me.
Some people here might have seen an old movie called "Labyrinth" about a girl, a baby, some muppets and David Bowie. Some might like it, some might not. As to my regards to it, I'm borrwoing a friend of mine's phrase. "D'goo". Take that as you will.
What's the point of this? Well, a friend of mine wrote a parody of the movie involing us. (i.e. Characters in the comic) And it's funny. So I'm forcibly forcing you to read it. By force.
I think I might take submission of fanfiction, if people can connect it to the comic somehow. But not yet, because I haven't figured out everything in HTML yet. So for now, read the fic.

Disclaimer #1: I, Andreah of the sugar and ADD infected, do not own “Labyrinth” in any way, shape or form. Damn. Nor do I own the people (besides myself) who appear in this particular story.
Disclaimer #2: Neither do I, Zage the Goth, Keeper of the Dead, own Labyrinth or the characters…blah…blah…blah… You get it. I especially do NOT own my crazy ass friends that appear in this fic. I am not responsible for them whatsoever! …But the guns are mine. Ja! ~Zage
Credits:

Jareth—a love-stricken Shenrezade (Sorry, Shen) Sarah—Andreah (please, don’t ask) Toby—Kieran (okay Kieran is Zage’s friend (he’s one-year-old) and let’s just say that his parents went to a New Years party with Andy’s parents, so Andy’s left watching him) Hoggle—Zage (Zage: I don’t know how Andy talked me into this…) Sir Didymus—Ender (Perfect match, I think…) Ambrosious—LbH (LbH is Ender’s muse. We’re using him because he’s annoying) Ludo—Piper (traumatized) Sarah’s Parents—Cloud and Tifa from Final Fantasy VII Kieran’s Parents—…Kieran’s parents… Goblins—Gobano (Shen’s muse), Peluso and Deirdre (Andy’s muses), LbH and Chris (Ender’s muses), random muses Shen collected over the years Bog of Eternal Stench—Bog of Pink Fuzzies Goblin City—Muse City Knockers—Sid and Ivy (Zage’s crazy friends) Arguing thingies that stand in front of those two doors—Sofia and Tom (Andy’s crazy friends) High dismembering singing freaks—Aeris, Zack, Sephiroth, and Rufus (Final Fantasy VII), Boromir, Denethor, and Saruman (Lord of the Rings) Junk Lady—Courtney (Andy’s sister) Written by—Andreah and Zage the Goth Produced by—Insanity Inc. Directed by—Andy and Zage, again Hosted by—Shenrezade Brought to you by—the word “Spung”

Scene One: Meet Andy, Shen, and Kieran

In a park, a bright red duck is sitting on a park bench when Andy happens to be running across the bridge in a medieval-style dress. When she sees the duck, she stops running, and begins walking up.

Andy: Give me the child!

Duck: …

Andy: Through dangers untold, and hardships unnumbered, I have fought my way to the castle, beyond the Muse City, to take back the child that you have stolen.

Thunder: *rumbles*

Andy: *ignores thunder* For my will is as strong as yours, and my kingdom as great… *has forgotten the next line* Uh…damn! *pulls out a little, neon green book* Why can I never remember that &#$^%(! line? ‘You have no power over me!’

Dog barks

Andy: *looks over at a stone bench* Oh, Maggie!

Maggie: Ruff!

Bell Tower: BONG! …BONG! …BONG! …BONG! …BONG! …BONG! …BONG!

Andy: CRAP! It’s seven! Maggie! C’mon, Maggie! Let’s go! *runs off*

Duck: … *watches Andy and Maggie run off as it begins to rain*

And for the convenience of you, the readers, (while Andy is running home) a David Bowie song!

No one can blame you
For walking away
But too much rejection, uh huh
No love injection, no, no
Life can be easy
It’s not always swell
Don’t tell me truth hurts, little girl
'Cause it hurts like hell
Hurts like hell
Hurts like hell
Hurts like hell...

Andy: *is thinking about how late she is* NOT GOOD! NOT GOOD! *nearly slips and falls in the mud* Not fair!

Tifa: *is wearing a nice dress* Oh, really! Don’t stand there in the rain!

Andy: ¡Lo siento! C’mon, Mags, let’s go inside.

Tifa: Not, the dog…

Andy: But it’s POURING! *points to the rain*

Tifa: Go into the shed, dog!

Andy: She’s not known as dog.

Tifa: *give her a warning look*

Andy: Okay, okay, Go on, Mags, go into the shed.

Maggie: *heads into the shed*

Andy: *storms inside*

Tifa: *follows her* Andy, you’re an hour late—

Andy: I said I was sorry—

Tifa: Can I finish? *doesn’t wait for a response* Your father and I go out very rarely—

Andy: Usually, it isn’t a problem—

Tifa: And I’m asking you to baby sit only if it won’t interfere with your plans.

Andy: It’s interfering with plans, Tifa—

Tifa: Mom.

Andy: Whatever.

Tifa: And it’s not.

Andy: How do you know? You don’t even ask me anymore!

Tifa: Well, I assume you’d tell us if you had a date. I’d like it if you had a date. You should have dates at your age—

Andy: The guys I know are immature to an unbearable extent. *begins storming up the stairs just as Cloud comes out of a room holding Kieran*

Cloud: Andy! You’re home!

Andy: *ignores him and goes to her room*

Cloud: *calls* We were getting worried! Kieran’s parents have already left!

Tifa: Why does she treat me like a wicked stepmother? I’m not even her stepmother! I’m her mom!

Cloud: I’ll talk to her. *hands Kieran to Tifa and goes up to Andy’s room*

In Andy’s room We see a shot of Andy’s room, filled with things that feed her imagination.

Andy: *is lying on her bed* Through dangers untold, and hardships unnumbered I have fought my way to the castle, beyond the Muse City, to take back the child that you have stolen…

Cloud: *knocks on the door* Andy? Can we talk?

Andy: Is there anything that we need to talk about?

Cloud: …

Andy: You’d better hurry, or you’ll be late!

Cloud: Look, Kieran’s been fed, and we’ve put him to bed in our room. We’ll be home sometime around one.

Silence.

Andy: You really did want to talk to me, didn’t you? *notices missing stuffed animal from a cupboard* Snoopy!™ They were in my room! ARGH!!! *runs into Cloud and Tifa’s room, turns on the light, sees Snoopy™ lying on the floor and Kieran crying in a crib* Stop it! STOP IT!

Kieran: *cries*

Andy: Someone take me away from this awful place!

Thunder and lightning: *rumbles and lights Andy’s face*

Kieran: *cries*

Andy: What? You want a story? Okay, here’s a story! Once upon a time, there was a beautiful young girl, whose mother was a cruel hard bitch and made her stay home with the chores and a baby that wasn’t even hers!

Kieran: *cries*

Andy: And evidently, the child was a spoiled brat, and wanted everything his way. The girl was practically a slave.

Kieran: *cries*

Andy: But what no one knew was that the king of the Muses fell in love with her and gave her certain powers. So one night, when her mother had been particularly cruel to her, and the baby was more whiny than ever, she called on the muses for help!

Somewhere else Muses are seen, piled on top of each other, snoring.

Top muse: *wakes up* Listen!

Back there
Andy: “Say your words,” the muses said, “and we’ll take the baby to the Muse City, and you will be free!”

That other place
Muses: *gasp hopefully*

With Andy and Kieran
Andy: But the girl knew that the Muse King would keep the baby in his castle forever and ever, and turn it into a muse, so she suffered in silence.

Kieran: *cries*

Andy: All right, already! *picks up Kieran and begins bouncing him up and down gently*

Kieran: *wails*

Andy: Stop it!

Kieran: *cries*

Andy: *threateningly* I’ll say the words! *tauntingly* No, I mustn’t say…

Kieran: *cries*

Andy: I wish…I wish!

With the muses
Muse #1: She’s going to say it!

Muse #2: Say what?

Muse #3: Shut up!

Muse #1: You shut up! Listen! She’s going to say the words!

Muses: *get very excited*

Andy’s POV
Andy: I CAN’T TAKE IT ANYMORE!!! MUSE KING, MUSE KING, WHEREVER YOU MAY BE, TAKE THIS SCREAMING BABY FAR AWAY FROM ME!

Muses Muses: *settle down in disappointment*

Muse#3: That’s not it!

Muse #79: Where’d she learn that crap?!

Muse #10: It doesn’t even start with ‘I wish’!

POV de Andy
Andy: C’mon, Kieran, stop it! I wish I did know what to say to make the muses take you away!

Musing Room
Muse #8394: “I wish the muses would come and take you away right now!” IS THAT SO HARD?!?!

At Andy’s house
Andy: ARGH! *puts Kieran in the crib and makes him lay down and covers him with the blanket* I wish the muses would take you away!

Musers
Muse #8394: “WOULD COME AND TAKE YOU AWAY RIGHT NOW!!”

The heroine’s house
Andy: I wish…I wish…

Kieran: *is fussy to the extreme*

Andy: *walks over to the door* I wish the muses would come and take you away. *turns off the light* Right now. *leaves the room*

Kieran: *is suddenly silent*

Andy: O_O …Kieran…?

Silence

Andy: *tries to turn on the light, but nothing happens* Kieran?

Bundle under the blanket: *squirms and cackles evilly*

Andy: *picks up Cloud’s buster sword and goes over to the crib*

BUB: *squirms*

Andy: *pulls covers down to see nothing* O___O

Suddenly something hits the window.

Andy: *looks over* What the hell…? *sees the red duck repeatedly hitting the window*

Duck: AFLAC! AFLAC! AFLAC!

Window bursts open and the duck begins flying around Andy’s head.

Duck: AFLAC!

Andy: NO!

Duck: AFLAC! *turns into a tall figure*

Andy: O_o Shen? What happened to David Bowie?

Shen: He couldn’t make it.

In Muse Land
David Bowie: *bangs on the closet door* Let me out! I didn’t do anything!

Gobano: SILENCE, puny SING-ER!

Back with our Heroine and Villain—I mean, Shen
Andy: Oh. So what are you doing here?

Shen: I’m the Muse King.

Andy: Oh. … Where’s Kieran?

Shen: You know perfectly well where he is.

Andy: Please bring him back. Please.

Shen: Andreah, go back your room. Play with your toys and dog. Don’t forget about the baby.

Andy: …I think you mean ‘forget about the baby.’ Read your script.

Shen: Oh. Right…

Andy: I can’t and shouldn’t.

Shen: <_< >_> *tauntingly* I brought you a giiiiiift…

Andy: …what is it?

Shen: *holds up a Viggo Mortensen plushie*

Andy: A plushie.

Shen: It’s a special plushie that isn’t for any ordinary girl who takes care of screaming babies. Do you want it?

Andy: …It’s not that I don’t appreciate what you’re doing for me, but I want Kieran back. He must be terrified—

Shen: Andy? *turns plushie into a snake* Don’t defy me. *tosses snake around her neck*

Andy: GAH!!! *tears snake from her neck, only to find it’s turned into a scarf, with a muse under it*

Muse: *looks up at Andy and cackles annoyingly, then runs off*

All the muses scattered around the room: *laugh at her*

Andy: *holds up the buster sword threateningly*

Muses: *shut up*

Shen: You’re no match for me! *pulls out Onimaru*

Andy: Yes, I am! And I need Kieran back!

Shen: *nods, steps away from the window* He’s there! In my castle! *points out the window*

Andy: *looks out the window* You mean the thing that looks like a bunch of cardboard boxes glued together?

Shen: Why yes—I mean NO! Look again!

Andy: It still looks like a bunch of cardboard boxes!

Shen: Close your eyes and then look at it again!

Andy: *blinks* It still looks like a bunch of boxes.

Shen: *sighs* Let’s just drop it. Do you still want to look for him?

Andy: I’ve got to! *begins to go*

Shen: *grabs her arm* DON’T LEAVE ME!!!!

Andy: >_< Don’t you get it? I…have…to!

Shen: *drops her arm and tries to look pitiful* Pity.

Andy: *looks over the labyrinth* It doesn’t look that far!

Shen: It’s farther than you think…

Andy: <_<

Shen: *looks at his watch* Time’s short. You have exactly seventeen hours and thirty-five minutes before that baby is turned into a muse. Bye now! *disappears*

Andy: Weirdo… *begins walking towards the labyrinth*

Woo. Yeah. Look back for more when I get 'em.

Art, Site Maintenance, and Story copyright © Shawn Bohall, the poor, poor fool.

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